On:
In: Chronic Pain

Saturday, I arrived my car was swarmed by a herd of student leaders wearing the mustard yellow shirts. They attacked my stuff and carried it all into my room in just a few minutes. Of course, my room didn’t look so pretty, in fact, to try to photograph it, I had to climb over stuff! Monday was orientation to nursing fundamentals, and I must admit that it was all a little overwhelming but exciting at the same time. We bought our syllabus for the course, which happens to completely fill a 1-inch binder! I don’t think you can help but to look at it andRead More →

On:
In: Chronic Pain

Most of today has been spent packing and sorting. This Saturday, I’ll be moving into my home for the next nine months, located in north-central Indiana. Though I am looking forward to college, I’m also a bit hesitant because there are so many unknowns that lay ahead. In spite of my CRPS, I’m pressing on and not only continuing college, but undertaking the challenging major of nursing. Science has always been my favorite subject (well, in addition to art) and I was completely fascinated by my Biology and Human Anatomy classes last year. The personal experiences I’ve had with the medical profession began to makeRead More →

On:
In: Chronic Pain, Cooking

For some bizarre reason, I planted twenty pepper plants – twenty! Last week, I decided to pickle some of my pepper crop. While happily attempting to say that silly tongue twister about Peter Piper’s pickled peppers, I carefully began to de-stem, de-seed, and slice my pretty crop of purple, white, and green peppers. Finally I was down to one last pepper – the jalapeno. I’d worked with jalapenos before, and they hadn’t burned my hands, so I was quite confident that I’d be fine. I sliced the stem off the top of Mr. Jalapeno and the burning oils instantly burned my nostrils. Now, you’d thinkRead More →

On:
In: Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Mental Health
Tagged: , ,

One thing that I’ve been questioning recently is how God could have allowed all this pain to happen to me when so many people were praying for my surgery to go well and cure the pain.  A few days ago, God revealed a comforting analogy to me through nature that helped me understand a little bit of why. Some days, the sun is hidden by many clouds.  Sometimes the rain pounds the earth, while thunder shakes the earth and lightning streaks across the sky.  This is not what we expected, not what we wanted, yet God remains in control.  The rain that drenches the groundRead More →

On:
In: Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain
Tagged:

For the first time in a long time, I am doing nothing, not because I have to but because I can. Sure, I have a few things I could be doing, but they aren’t urgent and can wait. It seems bizarre that if something I want to do pops into my head, I have the energy to hop up and do it. It almost seems foolish to waste my energy on doing nothing, but I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts. So, why don’t I have anything to do? Because my final papers are in, my final exams are over, and my year ofRead More →

On:
In: Art

I thought I would share some of the art I’ve done over the past few months during my art class in college.  Some have been very personal, others have been fun. Rising from Pain 2009 Mixed Media, 18 x 14 inches Blue Grasshopper 2009 Oil Pastels, 11 x 11 inches This piece was done with a single continuous line. Continous Line Shelf 2009 Marker, 11 x 16 inches Calvin H. English Library 2009 Graphite, 8.5 x 11 inches Realistic Pencil 2009 Graphite, 11 x 16 inchesRead More →

On:
In: Chronic Illness

A serious commitment is something that should not be taken lightly, but this past year, I have grown closer and closer to my Savior and I wanted to demonstrate the new commitment I have to Him in a visible way. “But if your servant says to you ‘I do not want to leave you,’ because he loves you…then take an awe and push it through his earlobe, into the door , and he will become your servant for life.” Deuteronomy 15:16 2,000 years ago, the Son of God endured terrible pain to pay the price to free me. Though I am released and free toRead More →

On:
In: Chronic Illness

“God has a way of taking us through hard times and difficult seasons, wiping our tears, and then bringing back to us in an even greater way the things that we thought were lost to us forever.”- Roy Lessin Wow, how true those words are in my life right now. Everything in my life was stripped away – my ability to use my hands for arts and crafts, computers, and even animals, my ability to study and do well in class, and my ability to be a care-free college student, taking advantage of every opportunity to have fun. It even, in a strange way, tookRead More →

On:
In: Chronic Pain

Has it really been a whole month since I last posted? It hardly seems that long, yet in some ways it seems like even longer. On April 16, I went to the hospital for an outpatient placement of an epidural line in my upper back. For three weeks, I would “enjoy” the blessings of a continuous epidural infusion of two medications made to scramble pain signals. I know this is a little confusing, but here is the information I’ve collected about them… What is a continuous epidural infusion?Just as an epidural is given to pregnant women during childbirth, it can also be used in theRead More →

On:
In: Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain
Tagged:

In reflection over my last post, I’ve realized that I failed to mention another huge part of the realization my lack of participation in worship made me realize. God is worthy and I cannot give Him what He deserves. It doesn’t matter if you have one working arm or a hundred, as humans we simply cannot give Him what He deserves. It isn’t something I am lacking solely because I cannot worship with the accompaniment of bass sounding music, but something we as a human race, as all creation, lacks. Sure we can sing Him pretty songs, help others, or even lead others to Him,Read More →